In the Garden

Real conversations about difficult stories and wonderful women.

Yesterday, a dear friend texted me about the show. She said "I would love to play Eve. Because I realized last night (aka the Holy Spirit revealed to me) that the biggest struggle I've been having is the SAME ONE EVE FELL FOR. I want so badly to be God. SO badly. So I can be perfect and not make mistakes and not have to worry about anything. And we always scoff at Eve for bringing sin into the world but duuuuuuude am I her"

That text so deeply resonated with me because I am also Eve. I too want to be God. I too try to make the world my own and take control. This project has continued to show me that I want to control everything around me.

And I can't.

Because as much as I want to be in charge of the garden, that role was left for God and God alone.

I don't know how I'm going to cast this show. I'm scared to tell people yes and I'm scared to tell people no. In many ways, being a director is playing God. And funnily enough, I don't want to. I've dreamed for years of the responsibility of being in charge and making all the decisions, but now that I can I'm scared.

I'm not letting fear stop me, but I'm aware of its presence.

Lord, lead me through this process. Let me give control to you and you alone.